parenthood

Time to reflect, after a series of crises

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I often feel my life swings from one crisis to another.  When did it all start? (Crises that is, not life!)

Childhood was happy and simple.  I would love to be able to thank my parents properly but sadly they both passed a few years ago. I was kind of able to say thanks when I spent some time with my mother in her final days but it was not enough and time was short.  I hope she had the same happiness with parenting that I had with childhood.

Perhaps for most people childhood is rosy!  I hope I have been able to give mainly happy memories to my own son.  At the moment I believe my husband and I are deemed as slightly demented, crazy people who were ‘never young’, dare I say the usual thoughts of a young adult these days about anyone over 35!

Perhaps the appreciation of your own parents only comes into it’s own as you age yourself. I think the first time I truly reflected on parenting was on my wedding day.  I had already left home and was living with my fiance but it still felt like leaving the fold of my first family to join my second.

Recently there has been another very sad passing of a dear family member. The final illness was quite lengthy which was dreadful for the sufferer.  However, the weeks gave each of us time to say our goodbyes and remember good times.  I am still deciding in my own head whether this long drawn out end of life was cruel or kind.  It should not be a shock, but it still feels like it.

This passing came a little time after a career crisis for me, followed by a new job offer, accepted under pressure.  During the same period a family member’s plans to return home gave way and a move for that person to go abroad for a year came to the fore.  A new baby in the family was born safely and on time, after several weeks of anticipation of an early and problematic birth.  Husband has a very pressurised job, which recently meant more time away from home, more long working hours, distractions from the business when at home too.  We had a major job done on the house, with builders here for a few weeks and a major job done at our holiday home so lots of decision making done remotely, which is stressful in itself. Our usual holidays at Easter and May Day were deferred due to the happenings about us.  Finally we had three nights and four days away last weekend and that’s when this latest sad crisis occurred.

Of course, now is the time to be there for each other, look after each other, a funeral to get through and the weeks after.

We will survive, but feeling a little battered and bruised.

Still crafting occasionally,  a little ‘therapy’ and me time.  Projects on the table: a patchwork and applique runner for a craft fair (see post a couple of weeks ago for Countryside ideas), ongoing English paper piecing hexagons patchwork throw (see post a few weeks ago!), newly cast on cotton summer top (knitting), almost finished knitted summer vest (just fixing errors on the neck pick up which originally was a disaster), more felt doughnuts to sell …. loads more projects but they are in hiding right now.  No photos to share at the mo but there will be.

Signing out for now.

 

 

 

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We still actually like each other after 25 years

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I just read someone else’s blog post about celebrating being a twosome after recently becoming parents. It was great to see some people don’t lose sight of who they were before the family came along.

I am at the other end of parenthood to this fellow blogger,with my son recently becoming an independent adult and leaving home for university. I look forward to his homecoming for holidays at ends of terms and even, if he wishes to do so, his return to the nest when the course is over in 4 years time.  However for now, we are a couple at home, not a threesome.  We are discovering what it is like to live once again just considering each other.  I am lucky to say we actually still like each other and find plenty to talk about, occasionally even surprising each other with things we never knew about the other. That’s not bad 25 years after we met, after 24 years of living together and 23 years of marriage!

When I think back to the heady first years of our relationship I have wonderful memories.  After a few years we were fortunate to become parents, something we yearned for for a long time before it actually happened and the memories of that time and the following 18 years of being parents are wonderful too.  I am not kidding myself, there were challenges along the whole journey, times when life seemed really difficult and frustrating, but we have always recovered with love and laughter.

We have enjoyed plenty of time together ‘a deux’ during the years.  We can reminisce, we giggle about the past, things we have done, people we have met, places we have been to.  But we are talking about the ‘now’, about the future, things we want to do, places we want to visit.  We have just returned from a romantic break away, a week of indulgence for the two of us, somewhere we hadn’t been before, meeting new people and we are already talking about the next trips away.

I am onto the next great chapter in life and that is truly cause for celebration.

Fireworks as we celebrated our son’s 18th birthday this summer, before he left for his new journey too.sam183