I often feel my life swings from one crisis to another. When did it all start? (Crises that is, not life!)
Childhood was happy and simple. I would love to be able to thank my parents properly but sadly they both passed a few years ago. I was kind of able to say thanks when I spent some time with my mother in her final days but it was not enough and time was short. I hope she had the same happiness with parenting that I had with childhood.
Perhaps for most people childhood is rosy! I hope I have been able to give mainly happy memories to my own son. At the moment I believe my husband and I are deemed as slightly demented, crazy people who were ‘never young’, dare I say the usual thoughts of a young adult these days about anyone over 35!
Perhaps the appreciation of your own parents only comes into it’s own as you age yourself. I think the first time I truly reflected on parenting was on my wedding day. I had already left home and was living with my fiance but it still felt like leaving the fold of my first family to join my second.
Recently there has been another very sad passing of a dear family member. The final illness was quite lengthy which was dreadful for the sufferer. However, the weeks gave each of us time to say our goodbyes and remember good times. I am still deciding in my own head whether this long drawn out end of life was cruel or kind. It should not be a shock, but it still feels like it.
This passing came a little time after a career crisis for me, followed by a new job offer, accepted under pressure. During the same period a family member’s plans to return home gave way and a move for that person to go abroad for a year came to the fore. A new baby in the family was born safely and on time, after several weeks of anticipation of an early and problematic birth. Husband has a very pressurised job, which recently meant more time away from home, more long working hours, distractions from the business when at home too. We had a major job done on the house, with builders here for a few weeks and a major job done at our holiday home so lots of decision making done remotely, which is stressful in itself. Our usual holidays at Easter and May Day were deferred due to the happenings about us. Finally we had three nights and four days away last weekend and that’s when this latest sad crisis occurred.
Of course, now is the time to be there for each other, look after each other, a funeral to get through and the weeks after.
We will survive, but feeling a little battered and bruised.
Still crafting occasionally, a little ‘therapy’ and me time. Projects on the table: a patchwork and applique runner for a craft fair (see post a couple of weeks ago for Countryside ideas), ongoing English paper piecing hexagons patchwork throw (see post a few weeks ago!), newly cast on cotton summer top (knitting), almost finished knitted summer vest (just fixing errors on the neck pick up which originally was a disaster), more felt doughnuts to sell …. loads more projects but they are in hiding right now. No photos to share at the mo but there will be.
Signing out for now.
I just read Jenny Stilwell’s blog and it made me think how I didn’t keep up with my own 2016 plans. https://jensewsandknits.com/author/flickchickknits/
I quote ‘Sewing has really fallen by the wayside in 2016 and in the coming year I will be sewing a minimum of 4 hours every week. This will be put in my calender as a normal appointment and I plan on treating it as a work date so cannot be cancelled unless I am away.’
What a great idea. I have often felt guilty to put my creative time above other things and although I have crafted a lot over the years, I have never formally made time for it unless it has been at a club outside the home. I have for 2 years given myself ‘me time’ at a lovely craft and coffee club on a Thursday morning – it’s a great meet up of like-minded crafters and we have crafted together and sunk many a cappucino whilst putting the world to rights. However, it isn’t intense crafting time, distractions are indeed welcome and indeed meeting the others during that time in part is for companionship and inspiration is plentiful. I do not give up my Thursday mornings unless there is an emergency! However, I just don’t seem to get enough actual crafting done some weeks. I shall seriously think about popping formal crafting time into my diary just like a work appointment. Thank you Jen, I feel almost like I have had permission to do so! Thursdays may become the day for myself and my needles, be it knitting or sewing ones.
Saying that… I haven’t been idle since 2017 began. Last weekend I made the most gorgeous baby blanket. I loved it! I loved the yarn! I loved the pattern! I love the finished item! I feel I have found delight again in knitting. I have knitted for years, have many WIPs, have had successes and disasters, but this one project was such a pure pleasure to make. It was quick, it worked, it is a gift ready well before the gift date. It is the first of many new projects for 2017.
I consider myself a mature woman, I’ve been around a while, have had a family, experienced a bit of life. I consider myself a ‘grown up’ most of the time (I hold down a job, make decisions without referring to others!) However, sometimes being a parent becomes more of a challenge and I look around for the ‘grown up’ to take over and realize that ‘grown up’ part of me doesn’t feel like a grown up and I am searching for someone else to know what decisions to make! Does anyone else do this?
This week my son had trouble outside his school, bullies approaching him and pushing him around, accusing him of something he hasn’t done. When I had the call to go and collect him outside school I jumped in the car and did not know what I would find. Luckily, he was unhurt physically, but extremely shaken up. I was so upset for him, tried to be reassuring, tried to say all the right things whilst inside I was incensed and wanted to somehow get back at the other boys, find them and hurt them. I am usually such a passive person! I didn’t know what words to say to make him understand I will be there for him, I will support him, I will look after him and look out for him always. I didn’t want him to be even more stressed, to worry day after day that it might happen again. I had recently read a quote a friend had seen that said ‘you mess with my son/you mess with me’. At the time I smiled to myself and thought I have a good lad, someone who stays out of trouble and makes me proud. Yes, I DO have a good lad, who stays out of trouble, who makes me proud. It’s just that losers in this world sometimes cross our paths and we have to deal with them. I hope my words of comfort were the right words. That has been a true lesson in learning to be a ‘grown up’ for me. I guess that means when you do become one you know what to say and how to behave.
I usually blog about my crafting, but the past week has been chaos with builders working and not much crafting has been going on! I decided yesterday to sort out my woolly stash, mid way through which I had the call from my son. Today I couldn’t face returning to the pile of chaos. Tomorrow’s another day.
I had such a fabulous morning at my sewing group. It is very new and we are all just starting to get to know each other. I took along fabric and pattern books to cut out the pattern for a lovely, big, voluptuous bag, however we were lucky enough to enjoy a spot of sunshine so we sat on the deck and chatted about past, present and future projects instead. Our host had the perfect venue for a bit of ‘time out’ and despite not starting the project I do not think it was a waste of time or anything like that. I so enjoyed picking up hints and tips and planning things we are going to attempt as a group and as individuals. I think I may be one of the more inexperienced sewists but will try my best. I can’t wait to produce something I can show off to everyone – although it’s a bit scary having shown everyone a photo of what it should look like! I make no promises mine will be as professional!
I was thinking about the word ‘sewists’. Why are we ‘sewists’? Why not ‘sewers? Well, obviously when you see it written down it has different connotations! However, why aren’t knitters called ‘knitists’ or plumbers ‘plumbists’ and electrians ‘electricitisists’ and so on? There are probably linguists out there cringeing when they see this. I guess there is an easy explanation.
Now I have sorted out all the fabric I have – oh my, there’s an awful lot there – much of it was ‘hiding’ in a cupboard untouched for months. I have knitting still on needles too, that is my first love. I have my work cut out (and lots of pleasure) for the next few weeks, don’t I? Yippee.
Happy crafting everyone. I shall chart my progress, big or small. Tonight I am doing a ‘taxi’ run for my son who is out at a concert. I am already missing that crafting time at home!