It’s almost a year since England entered it’s first Covid19 lockdown, a year since most of us really became aware of this dreadful virus, a year since our own little worlds were disturbed and life as we knew it changed. I think back to the beginning when I felt so scared, when daily news reports made me cry easily, so many people started catching Covid19, hundreds, thousands being hospitalised or sadly passed away, the number of predicted sufferers perhaps wasn’t a mistake after all. The medical staff and hospitals struggled to cope. The government seemed unprepared. So much despair. There seemed no light at the end of the tunnel. I gathered close those important to me. I nurtured friendships by phone, briefly meeting but outside only. We became kinder to one another. I washed my hands excessively, I cleaned more than usual, when anything arrived in the mail I worried it would bring unwelcome germs.
Now the threat is still there but with the vaccines offered it is in decline, not gone away, just in decline. I still watch the news. I am still shocked. I am still worried about the future but there is lot less panic. It is a matter of time to see and experience the next step. I yearn to travel further than my own doorstep.
Personally, there are various things I have learned during the last year and some of these I am so grateful for. Family I gathered close have remained close. Most friendships nurtured remain steadfast or stronger (who could ever have predicted our increased use of social media and video conferencing?). We are all much kinder to each other. I didn’t realise we took each other for granted so often. Saying ‘I love you’ is more important than ever. Saying ‘how are you?’ and listening is equally imperative. Some relationships fell apart but maybe they did so for real reasons. Perhaps they would have naturally fallen away by now. I hope those people found solace and companionship elsewhere.
I used escapism as a way of coping. I read a lot more. I watched an awful lot of mindless tv (and lots of not so mindless too). For some time I crafted a lot more. I started projects, I planned more projects and I finished more projects. I am still reading, tv-watching and crafting although the urge to craft and the ability to finish is diminishing. If anything gets a little awry then it is put to one side to tackle another time. I am not beating myself up if something doesn’t quite go to plan on the craft table. I do not worry that there might not be time to ever finish it. I hadn’t clocked that perhaps I was worried I’d run out of time.
For example, this green sparkly top started in January doesn’t seem so urgent right now. It sits here with a lifeline stitched through each arm ready to be cut and the cuffs reknit. A new pile of yarn calls to me, a new project to plan, something easy to start not something difficult to work out. However, I did finish this hot water bottle cover. During one very cold night recently my existing hot water bottle split, soaked my feet and the bed (luckily the water was tepid by then). I had to replace it and gave the new bottle a new cover with some leftover fleece fabric. Since then it’s not actually been cold enough to need a hot water bottle at night!